Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Papacy - humans praying to another human.

   Lost in all this marriage debate are the Tranny's. Who can they marry, either sex or neither sex??

   funny, I see anyone wearing those "LiveStrong" wristbands anymore...

   How do you choke someone without killing them? Asking for a friend.

   If You Can't Be With The One You Love... Slap The One You're With!

   I have a great name for a dating site which pretty much sums the whole thing up in a nutshell...Desperate Losers.

   Spending Christmas in a little town called Red Bud. I'm sure it will be a fine holiday experience.

   Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.

   To err is divine. To blame it on someone else shows presidential potential.

   Where the heck is that "Polka" button Facebook that everyone keeps talking about?! I have my accordian and am ready to boogie.

   Value has a value ONLY if its value is valued . . .

   If you cant beat them, put a few drops of Visine in their coffee.

   No word in the English language rhymes with month.

   Almost casted for "The Biggest Loser", when I found out it wasn't the lose weight show, totally got pissed..

   Mmmm, plumpkins..

   Be yourself beautiful, and you will find the world full of beauty

   I'm sorry Baby, that's gravity. I can't help it that I'm physically attracted to you

   Mary Poppins did a great job getting kids to take there meds...Cause a spoon full of sugar really does help the medicine go down... Its just too bad all the kids she watched got Type 2 diabetes now...

   Dear makers of poppies, as much as I respect the poppy and what it is a symbol of, I would have thought that you would have been able to make a more secure fastening device by now. And perhaps one that doesn't stab the wearer several times a day. I'm just

   Just sent his buddies to The Blue Oyster to pick up chicks. LOL...are they in for a surprise!