Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   ..thinks having bags under your eyes is no big deal. It's finding the shoes to match is the real problem!

   Watagatapitusberry!

   like superman just without the cape

   thinks Falcon needs to have his dose of Ritilin increased.

   building a weather balloon. But in my hoax, stay with me folks, I'll be using my imaginary transgendered hermaprodite pool boy, Joachim as the curious and missing victim. It's foolproof. There's no way this will go wrong.

   i wish rihanna's nana would tell her what her name is!

   # is wondering on which day God created Justin Bieber... couldn't he have rested on that day too?

   facebook...u can poke another man's woman & he wont get mad about it

   Bachelors know more about women than married men, that's why they not married.

   wants you to know... Suck all you want, He will make more.

   saw the HILLYBILLY that won the lottery bought a new car - and transfered his bumper sticker "PROUD FATHER of my NEPHEW"

   The last German who did THAT well on African soil was Rommel.

   donated £5 to the African children in need appeal, what they spend it on? A fu@king annoying world cup trumpet!

   I'm Keyser Söze

   King rule - Raja decide what PM and other minsters want to do. Now ministers and others will decide the fate of Raja.

   A rattlesnake if cornered, will be so angry that it will bite itself. That is exactly what harboring hate/resentment against others is. We think we are harming others in holding these spites/hates but the deeper harm is to ourselves. ~ E, Stanley Jones

   Some people swear by taking "power naps" for energy. I say screw the naps, if you want real energy all you need is a handful of sugar and a dash of crystal meth.

   I'm heavily armed...and not afraid to flab them in your face! :P

   I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up!!!

   :I've seen fashion girls do things for cocaine that even a dog wouldn't do for some peanut butter.