Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Don't hope so....Wish so! Hope is nothing but a lazy wish :)

   suffering from PMS (Pre Marital Stress)

   A friend in need is a PEST indeed

   wondering where Sascatchatoon is.

   Tonya Harding is preggo and getting married. Break out the banjo's, it's anouther white trash wedding!

   Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

   Yea your in my room. I can be as almost naked as I want...

   currently kicking a hornet's nest. (i have a feeling this gonna end badly)

   "The best revenge is a life well-lived" is so true, but it doesn't provide the instant gratification I seek.

   ts always hard waiting for something that you want but whats even harder is knowing its everything youve always wanted

   Fantasia over doses on asprin, called a home wrecker by cheating with a married mand and even made a sex tape... FINALLY, a celebrity sex tape I will not watch HAHAHA!!

   Pre-season football reminds me of some of my ex's. It's over too soon and it's always boring

   volunteered to be a counselor at Camp Crystal Lake today.

   How's your day going? Here's a good way to tell: Is it "already" 2:00pm or "only" 2:00pm?

   Has finally found my Christmas spirit. Now if I could just remember where I put those candy cane shot glasses, I could start drinking it...

   all of you that believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

   The only thing in my cupboards is a pregnancy test….. Dam it now I have two problems….

   keep symbols for the symbol-minded

   Its the middle of January and you live in New England....Stop complaining and acting surprised "Its still snowing"!!!

   tips to get through work... Adjust your screensaver accordingly, I'm currently at a strip club