santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.

   Santa is the original Voyager!

   Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is your List of Naughty Girls!

   We don't have a chimney but I've assured my children that Santa and anyone else could easily sneak into our home at night.

   Ahh the Sunday after Easter... Catholics forgot where church was already, see you at Christmas!

   One of the best holidays...comes tomorrow when candy is 50% off!

   Snorted 2 lines of pre-workout powder and now my apartment is decorated for Christmas..

   Remember ladys, being good may get you a few nice presents but being naughty will get you diamonds.

   Keeping 6 ft away from me may protect you from my germs, but you’ll need to be a lot farther than that to avoid the glare from my heavily-sequined Christmas sweater.

   Black Friday... a special time to keep Capitalism in Christmas

   santa has to be the greatest criminal ever...a million cases of breaking & entering...the police everywhere know where he lives but he knows how to buy everyone of them off with gifts

   There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up. Unbelievable.

   My letter to Santa starts something like this: Dear Santa, My sister did it..

   Dear Santa, I plead the fifth! No wait... I drank it!!

   Ok, so Christmas has just started. I guess it's time to start buying Easter decorations!

   According to a recent survey just released this week, one-third of all mall Santa Claus' have had a child urinate in their lap. Even worse, the other two-thirds have urinated in their own laps.

   Christmas was best when I used to believe in Santa Claus... I wanna be 19 again.

   Santa know's where all the bad girls live but only empties his sack once a year. WTF?

   Well Christmas tree if finally out of the house, And back on my rear view mirror .

   There are 363 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up... Unbelievable...