life Funny Status Messages

   The only woman in my life who regularly calls to see if I'm ok works at MasterCard.

   It's also amazing how someday, someone walks out of your life and you wonder how the hell you lived with them!!

   The angel on my shoulder says I should be doing more with my life. Wait, no, that's just my mom talking. I forgot I left my phone there.

   I bought some TP at the dollar store today so yeah, life is going pretty good these days...

   A man in front of me at Walmart is buying a pregnancy test. I bet this is the one time in his life he wishes she had sent him for tampons!

   Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.

   *gets a new lease on life* *misses first payment*

   A snake can shed its skin, but it will always be a snake. Remember that before allowing people back into your life.

   • My life. My choices. My mistakes. My lessons. Not your business.

   The worst place to be in the world is that place where you are not exactly sure of where you stand in someone's life and what you mean to them.

   A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

   Everyone has three lives: their public life, private life, and secret life.

   People will always have an opinion about you. Whether positive or negative. They will tell you to your face or behind your back. Do what makes you happy. Live your life to the fullest. Life is too short to worry about someone's opinions.

   As an experiment I'm going to try to see life through the eyes of a man...dammit, I can't stop staring at my a$$ in the mirror!

   Everyone deserves one free kill in life.

   Spend life with the people who make you happy, not the people who you have to impress.

   Sometimes life seems so Popeless.

   When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"

   If I could slow down real life , like the fights scenes on a fighting movie . I would punch people more often .

   I have been misled. Life is not a box of Chocolates. It's a tin of mixed nuts at best.