Exercise Funny Status Messages

   Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?

   Yes, people who exercise live longer. But those extra years are spent...umm...excercising!

   If it weren't for the fact that my bed is so far away from my computer, some days I wouldn't exercise at all.

   My exercise program consists of following women at the store who are wearing tight yoga pants.

   The "Map My Run" Facebook posts are a great way to track how far you went to brag about exercise or show your exercise running from the police.

   Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat exercise when offered something to eat.

   Football is a game in which a handful of men run around for one and a half hours watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise.

   I need a female exercise partner. When I say exercise I mean emotionless sex.

   I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd wake up early in the morning to exercise. And I was right.

   Just added 'Wandering Around the Parking Lot Looking for My Car' as another Track Exercise on my Fitbit.

   Sex: It might be good exercise, but that's not why we do it!

   I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

   "OK...that Trust Exercise didn't go exactly according to plan. Once we dispose of the bodies let's keep quiet about this...AS A TEAM!"

   When your body is sore, Exercise your mind.

   I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.

   I bet other insects hate it when they ask a caterpillar how she became a butterfly, and she's all, "Just diet and exercise, guys!"

   whenever I say the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

   wondering if running late counts as exercise?

   I count breathing as exercise.

   I always feel tricked into exercise when I peel an orange.