santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   If you got a big-screen TV for Christmas, be sure to put the empty box out with your neighbor's trash. That way, their house will get robbed instead of yours.

   I was just stuffed in to a bag by a fat creepy guy in a red suit. alright! fess up! Who put me on their Christmas list?

   It looks like your supermarket is dressing up as Christmas for Halloween.

   There will be no more need to worry about being on Santa's naughty list........Obama shut down the coal industry

   Finally I'm not being harassed by my family or coworkers for listening to Christmas Music. It was rough back in July.

   Lost a lot of Xmas Manger characters, but 2 Wise Men and a He-Man will do.

   Christmas is the time for giving family. So I'm giving away my family 'cause I'm efficient like that.

   If one of Santa's helpers takes a picture of himself with his cell phone, is it called an "elfie"?

   Hates putting lights on the Christmas tree, she feels like an elf being punished for being to tall

   Mariah Carey grew to hate Christmas. After she recorded all I want for Christmas is you, she only gets a house full of relatives now.

   When first talking to your kids about Santa, don't say he's God's drunk brother in law. Trust me...

   ChrEasters people who only go to church on Christmas & Easter

   It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas needs to be less commercialized so remember whose birthday it is.

   saw a Mayan Xmas shopping today ........ seemed legit

   Due to public service cutbacks, the Rapture is simply going to be based on Santa's Naughty/Nice List.

   There are four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus 3) You are Santa Claus 4) You look like Santa Claus

   Instead of sending friends Christmas cards, is it ok If I return the ones I got and just add the words "Me too"?

   Now would be an Ideal time for Netflix to release Sheldon Cooper presents Sheldon Cooper's "Fun With Flags"

   Locust swarms. Killer ninja murder hornets. Virus pandemics. You were complaining about Christmas music

   Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, F*ck Kwanzaa.