santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Christmas is my favorite four months of the year.

   I got this whole Christmas gifting thing on lock!! I bought my mom a fridge for Xmas a few years ago and still to this day every time she opens it....her face lights up

   all I want for christmas is you... just kidding, get me diamonds.

   it okay to fake my own death just so I don't have to spend Christmas with my family?

   Merry Christmas! Or as my grandma always says, "there are whispers coming from the poinsettia again."

   Guy's if you want to do your own thing in the upcoming new year, get your wife/girlfriend a treadmill and a Victoria's Secret catalogue for christmas.

   What's the best age to abandon your children around the holidays so they can grow up to write decent blues music?

   The Christmas Day hacking of Playstation Network and Xbox Live forced gamers offline and kids to sit with their families for Christmas instead of locking themselves in their rooms. This had girlfriends, wives, and mothers whispering, "It's a Christmas Mi

   Santa..he's pretty lucky..cuz he knows where all the naughty girls are at..that's why he's so jolly you see?

   Returned every single Christmas gift today. Even handmade ones from my kids

   Pro tip: If you really want to freak people out wear a Santa Claus suit as your Halloween

   with the upcoming end of the world quickly approaching, in lieu of Christmas cards this year, I have sent out checks out to all my friends in the amount of $1,000,000 post dated 12/22/2012. Good luck finding a bank that isn't under water everyone!

   It's pretty funny to strap a Christmas tree to the roof of your car, light it on fire, and drive around like nothing's wrong.

   Was in the K-Mart earlier and noticed they have Barack Obama Christmas Ornaments. Seems it's fashionable again to hang black people from a tree.

   Shout Out to the Kids in the Projects that left some Milk & Cookies out for Santa but the Roaches got to it first.

   All I want for Christmas is a stimulus check.

   Feeling poor and full of cookies. You can tell it's Christmas.

   The Christmas package of Wild Turkey now comes with bail money and pants.

   I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus; then I saw her helping him empty his sack.

   loves the Daisy air rifle he got for Christmas and is anxiously awaiting the first Jehovah's Witness to come to the door!