life Funny Status Messages

   They say that spontaneity is the spice of life but I don't see it on the shelf so I'm going with Paprika.

   Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

   Relationships are kinda like hamburgers on TV. They look good, but in real life, they're not that great.

   My brain during the day: I need a nap.... My brain at night: I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here & allowed us to sustain human life....

   Just because I don't tell anyone, doesn't mean that problems doesn't exist in my life.

   I've set my "life goals" to stuff I've already done so literally every day now I'm overachieving. It's all about perspective.

   needs to stop listening what people are telling him to do and start focusing on what he really wants in life..... pie!

   If you're looking for an excuse to ruin your life, I'm right here.

   In the popularity contest that is Facebook, I'm currently in 609,264,326th place, slightly higher than in real life. Win!

   i buy my own f*cking lemons because you know what? life doesn't hand anyone anything for free.

   If at first you don't succeed, wait a third of your life and look him/her up on Facebook.

   Me: I'm happy right now. Life: lol one sec

   Terrorists are like salmon, life is good until the seals show up

   What would life be like without women? A pain in the a$$.

   LIFE; It's one damned thing after another

   Life would be easier if Kleenex just made shirt sleeves.

   U know some people are like VIRUSES, they ENTER your LIFE, SCAN your POCKETS, TRANSFER your IDEAS, EDIT your MINDE, DOWNLOAD your HEART, and UPLOAD their PROBLEMS

   I've Realized Something Today.. No Matter How Hard You Try To Plan Your Life.. Life Has A Plan For You All On Its Own..

   wants to remind everyone that all those little ghosts, goblins, princesses, and witches are having the time of their life so please drink responsibly and drive safetly.

   My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.