life Funny Status Messages

   turning older than 12 years old was the biggest mistake of my life

   Think about this. Somebody in the world right now couldn't imagine life without you. That alone should give you the strength to smile.

   My life will not be complete until I've walked away from an explosion in slow motion

   That uneasy moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don't know what to do with your life any more.

   If you don't discipline your child, life will.

   If you don't have a love in your life, don't worry. If you keep living a life with no regrets, either your love will come or someone will regret living their life without you.

   No Ma'am. I did NOT say your child is ugly. All I said was that I would fear for my life if he were ever to get wet… or eat after midnight. I'm sure you won't have to worry about pedophiles either.

   Declining a Facebook friend request is one of the finer moments in life.

   LIFE TIP: Next time you do something illegal, look serious and carry a clipboard.

   Are you like me...are there people in your life alive only because you can't afford a good Hitman

   Dear Life...Would you at least start using lubricant in 2015.

   What Woodstock 1969 tought us is that life isn`t about waiting for the storm to pass, it`s about learning to dance in the rain...

   It's the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!

   Life is a beach, i'm just playing in the sand.

   My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.

   When people say “I'm not getting any younger!” I wonder what other basic life concepts they just figured out

   Dear Drama Queens who cry ab not every status being hillarious.. Isnt that the point? You scroll through all the crappy ones, kill a little time in ur day then BAM got one!!! Sorry we cant just hand you everything in life.

   experiencing life at a rate of several wtf's a minute

   Learned a lesson from my dog tonight.................No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.

   Without women, life would be a pain in the ass. If you don't get this, you're too young to be on Facebook.