Funny Status Messages
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NO officer, I did not hit her, I simply FIST pumped her face. 
it legal yet to kill ex-husbands?? If not, vote for me next election, and I'll make that piece of legislation my first order of business.
Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
naked picturs of the Queen!......OOOPS! this is'nt Google
the reason for your wet dream!
Guess all those years of phone sex have caught up with me I have hearing aids
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
wondering how a MAN can't stop a PRIUS ......BUT....... Tiger woods wife stopped a ESCALADE WITH a 9iron
Ever worry that the sensor on the back of an automatic toilet is actually a little video camera?
Wanted: Overnight Meaningful Relationship
The word of the day is LEGS..... Ladies please spread the word.
Childhood obesity is not funny. Ok mabey it is a little, Chubby little kids woddling around.
BREAKING NEWS: U.S. Kills Al-Qaeda's Number 3 for Nine Thousandth Time
Just seen a scarecrow trying to have a wank..... Poor fucker was clutching at straws !!
me and the wife do it doggy style , I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead
Every Christmas Eve my family tries to break the record of number of people stuffed into one kitchen.
While you're out eating and drinking after midnight please remember poor little Gizmo who isn't allowed to.
money cant by harmony and happiness, but I can buy rum!!
officially rocks!! In your face paper and scissors......you got nothing on me. Not a damn thing!*narrow eyes* especially you paper!! yeah!*shifty eyes*
becames friends with the Pillsbury Doughboy just so I could poke him. 