life Funny Status Messages

   Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

   Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it. "

   You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

   I wish I could be as enthusiastic about life as my dog is about the arrival of the mail man..

   The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...

   life is too ironic to understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, Noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence.

   I once had a life … then some idiot came and told me to make a Facebook!

   All my life I've wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.

   I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.

   No matter what mistakes I make in my life at least I won't be as pathetic as the guy who got eaten by a t-rex on the toilet in Jurassic Park

   Always be thankful for another day of life because you never know when it's gonna be your last.

   Sad Fact Of Life #208- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.

   Being a responsible adult is seriously messing up my social life.

   People change its a part of life, but sometimes its easier to hold on to the memories of who they were... rather then to realize who they have become...

   If you watch Friday the 13th backwards, Jason's machete is a magic wand that brings kids back to life and sends them to summer camp...

   Life is just better when you're laughing.

   I am in the best shape of my life! Thanks poverty.

   Life was so much easier before security cameras

   Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs

   There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.