Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   We had joy we had fun, specially in your mother's cun....

   wanted a motorcycle when he left school, but his mother said no. She had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18..... So she said I could just have his.

   "Knock knock." "Who's there?""Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

   Nothing say's "Happy Mother's Day" like a uterus shaped pizza!

   I'm gonna be your murder consultant. Motherfucker Jones. How'd you get the nickname Motherfucker? When I was a kid I snuck into my mother's bedroom. I've heard enough. I snuck up behind her and then slipped my fingersinto her purse. Purse, he said purse.

   in the words of our dear beloved and departed, Mother Theresa - “these hoes ain’t loyal”

   You know when you rearrange "Mother -In-Law" in any language you still get "Women Hitler!"......Got a PuertoRican-Haitian Hitler to deal with

   You fell sad because you didn't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day? Some people don't have a mom on Mother's Day or a dad on Father's Day so shut up.

   In sept 1945 I wish "he" was shot into space instead of his mother being impregnated with him.

   Switching off my mother inlaw's life support machine was very difficult. I had to fight off a doctor, a nurse and two security guards. Beeeeeeeep

   Anybody can be a mother...and too many have no kids...and aren't women...so I wish you a Happy Mommy's Day!

   In the spirit of Mother's Day, the worst mother ever has to be Donsld Trump's mother.

   Its trash pick up day tomorrow and my dumb neighbor forgot to take out my mother-n-law!!!! Now i've gotta dump trash all over his yard again!

   Happy Mother's Day to my sister for having my kids......some Trump supporter maybe....

   Daddy..what's a transvestitie? Go ask your mother he'll tell you

   Happy Father's Day to all ads.... Except to those who can't drive a manual. Happy Mother's Day!

   I find it interesting how some women won't date a man that lives with his mother, but will date a man that lives with his wife.

   Remember when someone had posted "who cares if we don't get to see polars Bears, cuz we didn't get to see dinosaurs?" I guess mother natures cares with this winter blast!

   I'm glad the earth is solving our over-population problem. Keep it up, mother earth.

   Dear Teenage Pop-Tart taking a picture of yourself wearing a bikini in your bathroom mirror: I do not want to be your friend. Please go away. (Does your mother know you do this?)