life Funny Status Messages

   If I am ever put on life support, pull the plug, wait 30 seconds and plug it back in. See if that works

   I'm going to admit myself into the Hokey-Pokey Institute and turn my life around.

   When life knocks me down, instead of getting back up I usually lie there and take a nap.

   As time passes you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will. Love what you've got. And remember what you had. People change, things go wrong but life goes on

   The only friends you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs. I guess it's just sometimes we expect more from our friends because we would be willing to do that much more for them.

   I'd rather look back at my life and say "I can't believe I did that" instead of saying,. "I wish I did that."

   Things were simpler when everything in my life fit perfectly inside my awesome Trapper Keeper.

   when life gives you dilemmas, make dilemmanade!

   The surest sign that there is intelligent life somewhere in the Universe is that it hasn't tried to contact us.

   we often spend so much of money on buying clothes but never realize that some of the best moment in life is enjoyed without cloths!

   If before every major life decision, people would just say "What would Charlie Sheen do?"...The world would be so much more interesting....

   Let's be honest, if the Westboro Baptist Church pickets your funeral then you've lived a good life.

   If life gives you melons... get a good sports bra.

   Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets? I'd be happy to find intelligent life here in Government first.

   i have never faked a Sarcasm in my life

   Life is unpredictable. Just when you think you've got enough lotion on your skin, you may just get the hose again.

   I'm not quite ready to declare this the 2,847th best day of my life, but it's certainly trending that way.

   Sometimes all it takes is a simple change in attitude to turn your life around. =]

   Spring is almost here! Happy people walking, kids playing outside, dog sh!t everywhere.....Life is grand!

   Sometimes all you need in life is some really good sex.