markf Funny Status Messages

   A lot of people were confused at the grand opening ceremony of our ribbon-repair business

   So let me get this straight -- somewhere a huge NSA data center is storing untold terabytes of data with text like "lol my cat just did a funny" and "u looking good gf"

   there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?

   If you are surprised that Facebook may be selling your data then you are the reason hairdryers come with the warning, "Do not use in shower"

   relieved that even tho 230,000 government workers couldn't make it past the blizzard to work in DC this week, the country has somehow managed to continue as if nothing happened.

   I wonder if Batman ever looks up in the night sky at the Bat Signal and says, I told him to just text me.

   I'm concerned that America will lose the next time we are invaded because this generation will be too busy staring at their phones to notice.

   read that a new study indicates that 80% of children aged 0 to 5 are already exposed to some computer use. In response to show their concern, Apple Computer has announced the new iCrib to target the remaining 20%.

   Almond milk? I didn't even know almonds had nipples.

   snuck his daughter's phone and changed his contact info to Batman. Now it's a little more exciting when she gets a text like 'get ready. picking you up in 5 mins.

   So would the ACLU defend me if I protested and burned down ACLU headquarters?

   wearing his ninja shirt today. It has ninjas all over it, but most people just think it's a blank shirt.

   wonders if someone driving a VW bug knows they are causing fistfights wherever they go.

   I started the month eating candy every day to get ready for Halloween

   The grocery store in my neighborhood needs to repaint the parking lot near the door to show where the "Just Lazy" parking is.

   I remember the first time a friend said he was going to introduce me to a "dog person." I was bummed at the way it turned out.

   I am wondering if female squirrells only get 80% of the acorns that males get

   thinks that without Analytical Geometry, life is pointless.

   thinking that now that I have a laptop computer, iPhone, GPS and tablet PC, my ADD is actually a positive thing now.

   When I leave home on time for something I have that sure feeling that I forgot something