Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Donald Trump Jr should not make fun of Skittles and Syrian refugees -- his mother is an immigrant and his father is an orange Skittle.

   When my mother in-law said she wants to be creamated. I immediatley made her an appointment for next week.

   my mother always told me , believe none of what yah hear, and only half of what yah see

   Hurrican Sandy is mother natures revenge for Jersey Shore.

   Daughter: Mama, can a girl get pregnant from @n@l s3x? Mother: Why sure, Honey. Where do you think lawyers come from?

   My father was a dentist and my mother was a manicurist.They kept fighting tooth and nail.

   From now on, all of my posts will be written in Samuel L Jackson's voice. Re-read this one again Mother F*cker to make sure it's working!!

   If the tables were turned and men could give birth it would be nice to hear Maury say "YOU ARE NOT THE MOTHER"!!!!!!

   My mother wants me to get up and go to work. But the voices in my head want me to stay home and clean the guns.

   using Just For Men on your mother in laws mustache at night wrong ? Asking for a friend ..

   I am not joking who ever pissed off mother nature Stop!

   what looks good on a mother in law? a doberman.

   My mother had morning sickness AFTER I was born.

   Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big t*tties!!

   Donald Trump's approval rating has dropped to 37%. Norman Bates scored higher with his mother.

   I'm thinking about calling child protective services on Mother Nature.

   ... And if you're taking your girlfriend out tonight, You better park the car well out of sight... Cause if they catch you in the back seat Trying to pick her locks, They're gonna send you back to mother In a cardboard box... You better run..."

   I'm taking my kids to see their mother today. Actually, we're going to feed some ducks but I'm sure her rotting body is still in that pond.

   She got her looks from her mother.....she was a plastic surgeon

   Seeing my ex with a new guy doesnt upset me.. My mother taught me at a young age to give me used toys to the less fortunate.