santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   its not Christmas time yet and Starbucks is holiday happy. We still have to get though thanksgiving people.

   i guess its getting time to do my christmas shopping,i will go to the dollar store for my big gifts and from there I will come back home and see if I can find somethings around the house that they havn't seen in awhile.

   If I win $425 Million next Wednesday, what do you want for Christmas?

   : OK, I didn't get what I want for Xmas.... I'm coming after you FAT MAN IN A RED SUIT!!! And don't think I'm not gonna egg your sleigh either!

   Dear Santa, Don't listen to any of my Facebook friends. I have been a perfect angel, I swear.

   What time do we take our kids door to door for presents?

   I think there should be a special place in hell for whoever invented those strings of Christmas lights that wont work at all or blink half assed because one damn bulb is blown!

   People are like snowflakes. I only like them on Christmas.

   Mrs. Claus: *opens door* you’ve been in here working on the naughty list all day Santa Claus: *fumbling to close his internet browser* I need PRIVACY please

   If Santa Claus had a FB account,,,, none of us would get presents.

   Time's running out if you want a chance at a Christmas / New Year baby.. I'm free for the next couple nights..

   Unfortunately, there was a lot more camel toe than mistletoe at the office Christmas party last night.

   I would like to wish a very Merry Christmas to all of my Polish friends..

   Well it's July and almost 100 degrees. Walmart should be putting the Christmas stuff out any day now.

   starting to think that Santa's just not that into me...

   Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let's get this thing done.

   : Santa Claus reported his naughty girls list stolen, Police comfirm Tiger Woods is the prime suspect.

   Last minute Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.

   If ‘ifs' and ‘buts' were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.

   I slept under the Christmas tree once when I was 9 waiting for Santa. And once when I was 35 waiting for the room to stop spinning.