Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   When I was a kid I wrote to Santa Clause to "please send me a baby brother",,,,,,Santa wrote back "send me your mother"!

   "You don't have to send your mother anything today, we already paid her enough." - Gay dad

   My mother texted me "What does IDK, LY,& TTYL means? I answered: I don't know, love u, talk to you later. Mother: Ok I'll ask your sister

   my mother never understood the irony in calling me a "son-of-a-b*tch"

   My mother sent me a private message on fb, telling me that I shouldn't post things that some people might find offensive. after much soul searching I had to do the right thing, so I unfriended her !

   You have to feel sorry for the Mother's of the Chilean miners. The waiting, the pain, seeing their kids come out slowly from a small dark hole. It's like child birth all over again

   Yesterday I posted "Happy Almost Mother's Day!" on this chick I grew up with's Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion.

   thinks mother nature is bi-polar

   My family's in the Iron and Steel buisness. My mother irons and my father steals.

   On a scale of 1 to Mother-in-law How annoying are you?

   A boy writes to Santa asking for a brother and receives a reply back from Santa send me your mother

   Should men care about women's rights? Before you answer, remember four important women in your life. Sister...Wife...Daughter...Mother...

   The worst thing that can ever happen to a hangover is a call from your mother.

   " Fcuk the Police" ............ Please encourage this!! With the shift work we do protecting your sorry ass it's sometimes hard to meet women. So please encourage your sister and mother to continue your cause!!

   Bought my wife bagels this morning so she dont have to cook breakfast...Happy Mother s day:)

   The problem with having so many followers is that simple jokes are now beneath me. Like your mother.

   Rain on a Monday, in spite of the fact we need the rain, is unacceptable. Mother Nature will be hearing from my attorney.

   Nothing like finding your credit card in your 3 year olds play wallet, like mother, like daughter... Just shoot me now!!.

   You take care of ME, I take care of YOU! - Mother Earth

   I miss the days when their mother's loving kiss could solve all of my children's problems:o(