love Funny Status Messages

   Man sitting at home on the verandah with his wife and he says, "I love you." She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?" He replies, "It's me............. talking to the beer."

   The Patriot Gaurd Motorcycle Riders were awesome at protecting my family from a$$hole Westboro Baptist Haters at my nephews military funeral. Maybe the Hell's Angels to also come and give the same love those hatemongers give others at the next funeral.

   Getting a neck tattoo is probably the coolest way to show your love for manual labour.

   My family loves the Patriot Gaurd Motercycle Riders who shielded us at my nephews military funeral. At the next military funeral I want to also invite the Hell's Angels to give the same love to those protesting hatemongers that they give to others.

   I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.

   Morning sex means, “I love making love to you so much that your dragon breath doesn't even phase me.

   Zombies make the best boyfriends; they love you for your brain, not your body...

   I love snow it can make the dirtiest ghetto look clean.

   Love is very strong.. It can remove tears, fears & even underwears.

   If you love her, let her go out drinking with her friends.. If she calls you drunk, she is yours.. If she turns off her cell, she never was.

   Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it. "

   The 3 stages of love and relationship: 1. Anywhere sex, fairly self explanatory. 2. Bedroom sex, it only happens here and at night if you aren't too tired 3. Hall Sex, where you walk past each other in the hall and yell "Screw You!"

   Love is standing on wet cement. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave and you can never let go without leaving your footprints.

   Ahhhhhh. I love SPRING! Bright sunshine, slight breeze, about 70 degrees, and I am inside telling you people about it! See how much I care?

   Dear U.S. Congress and Justice Department. How much body armor for our military troops could have been purchased with the $3 million of taxpayer money wasted on investigating and prosecuting a washed-up old ballplayer? Love, (fill-in your name)

   Money can buy a fine dog...but only love can make him wag his tail.

   Well another gold for Canada in hockey. Gotta love it! You americans played a good game but this was our night. But you americans don't need to feel bad, one of your teams will probily be bringing home the Stanley Cup, so it kinda evens out.

   If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it has really low self esteem and you should exploit that for sexual favor.

   True love is never having to say "How was I ?"

   I love when you say something that is just dripping with sarcasm and people still can't figure it out.