life Funny Status Messages

   Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.

   If you are wearing Uggz with cargo shorts, you need to get your life together!!!!!!

   Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear

   If you're constantly posting “loving my life!” as your Facebook status, you're probably not.

   Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly.

   When life hands you lemons, squirt the juice in your eye..the stinging sensation will stop your whining.

   The day I confuse the Google search box with my Facebook status update box will be a tragic, life changing and possibly fatal one.

   You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

   I sleep less, I'm tired. I sleep more, I'm tired. Life is impossible.

   Fact: Ten out of ten people die. Don't take life too seriously.

   Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things!

   Some people live life in the fast lane. I have decided that I live it in oncoming traffic at night with no lights on. Welcome to my world, buckle up.

   If you spend the rest of your life trying to make up for past mistakes, there won't be any time to make any new ones.

   The best things in life are free.... or have no interest or payments for one full year.

   You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life

   "I looooove him, I caaaaan't live without him, he is my life" No you don't, your 22, and you met him 6 days ago. Take your dramatic a$$ somewhere else.

   The guy in line next to me at Walmart is buying a 12 pack and a Snuggie. Wonder how his social life is going.

   I've reached an awkward stage in my life where I have the wardrobe of a skateboarder and the hair line of a guy who yells at skateboarders.

   Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "HOLY $HIT... WHAT A RIDE!"

   If you want to make enemies, go and try to change something. If you already have enemies, good! It means you've stood up for something sometime in your life.