love Funny Status Messages

   The big movies right now in theaters are Robocop, Endless Love, and About Last Night. I feel like it's the end of the 80s all over again.

   I love snow – People who never shovel

   a love-ate relationship with food.

   Calm her down. Women love to be calmed down.

   I love you my friends ... and that's not just the beer talking ... its from the bottom of my bottle of wine too.

   Love how I can remember the lyrics to just about any song written in the 70s but can't remember where I laid my car keys down last night?

   Cheating your wife doesn't mean that you don't love her...it's like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home...it saves tires and longer lasting beauty and reduces mileage...Send this to your wife and let me know which hospital you are in..

   Imagine having an IQ low enough to enjoy watching love island.

   Ex: I still love you. Me: “I’m gonna call you back, my damn fish is drowning”

   Christmas as a child: "Socks and Money? This is ridiculous!" Christmas as an adult: "SOCKS AND MONEY? HOW DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I LOVE YOU"

   *Love in the time of coronavirus* Hey baby, want to go back to my place and play find the paper cut with the hand sanitizer?

   On a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love.

   Love kickboxing and think there should be kick versions of more sports, like kickbowling and kickbadminton.

   Couple beside me in the restaurant are on a blind date; they both love dogs, sushi, and looking at Tinder while the other one is in the restroom.

   Love Halloween, seeing all the monsters and the scary imagery. Then I turn off the campaign ads and wait for the trick-or-treaters.

   Quit telling everyone how much you love Fall, you psychopath.

   I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman, then pow, it was all gone, when my wife found out.

   Going forward I'm only saying I love you to cheeseburgers.

   Love ordering from the menu by reading the description, not the item. "Yes, I'll have the two long ground corn tamales stuffed with pork."

   R.I.P PHIL HARRIS FROM DEADLIEST CATCH. WE LOVE WATCHING YOU