life Funny Status Messages

   Let it be know that if you touch my phone and it's not a life or death situation, it automatically becomes a life or death situation.

   Don't take what life gives you and frown, take what life gives you and smile because you know you can make the best of it.

   Sometimes in life all you need is a Wi-Fi, an iMac and a cup of coffee.

   My life would be so much better if I was dead.

   If you read your timeline backwards it is about a person who hates everything and gradually becomes happier until they get a life.

   not an actor on TV but is one in real life.

   I'm writing a book about all the things I should be doing with my life. It's an Oughtobiography.

   My brain must think sleep= death... every time I try to fall asleep, my life flashes before my eyes. Well, the embarrassing bits, anyways.

   .... There are two things in life that are certain ... and I took care of one of them today .... I'm really hoping the other one will hold off for quite a while!!!

   if there was a more adult way to say "extra chocolate" I would enjoy more shakes in my life.

   Ugly old women who fight over their male colleagues with all other young women! well done! Your life sucks!

   If your life and or feelings are are better because you're now posting anonymously... It's time to re-evaluate your life choices my friend. That's just sad. There is actually a "real world" out there.

   People say your life flashes before your eyes when you die, but Steve Apple doesn't support Flash.

   FML- facebook is my life

   wish life was a bed of roses!!! I would do nothing but sleep all day!!!

   Opening the wrong kitchen cupboard and drowning in a "Bag for life" tsunami

   My life is like a good woman. It really scuks.

   What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? ........Swim for your life !!!.......jlm

   You know when a friend says they just don't know why they are single? And they are wearing Dansko clogs. Like they belong in a tree making cookies for Keebler? Life lesson 219....

   I can't tell what's currently doing worse, my love life or my bank account