NHIF Funny Status Messages

   As I slid my finger down her g-string I thought to myself..... what a nice guitar.

   walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road.

   It's pretty scary that before facebook... All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.

   If you search “askew” in google search, the page will tilt slightly clockwise. (Try it now).

   She removed her jeans threw it to me and said ``Make me feel like a woman``... and I removed my trouser threw it 2 her and said ``wash them both...

   I don't call it "Drinking Coffee" I prefer "Installing Java."

   It makes me sad to think there are people in this world who have a Kardashian as their favorit celeb.

   Sumung s 3 was launched some time ago and iphone 5 can can't beat it.

   Just like NOKIA, iphone 5 feutures are the same as previous versions.

   I've been telling jokes about distance but I think this time I've gone too far.

   Dear Lord, if you can't give me a six pack, at least give this other people a pot-belly...thanks!

   Someone who unplugs your phone at 3% to charge theirs at 97% is capable of killing you.

   Sometimes in life all you need is a Wi-Fi, an iMac and a cup of coffee.

   For world economy to stablelise matchsticks should come both sides.