life Funny Status Messages

   looks life a flower but stings like a bee.

   I worry that you'll work in an office, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life.

   I was on the elevator with a maid and I BLASTED a fart. Moments like that make life worth living.

   Life is like a picnic: there are ants, hornets, bad potato salad, locked public bathrooms when your kid can't hold it, people, spotty cell recep......

   I understand that in every life a little Rain Must Fall, but what I don't understand is why does it always happen to me the few times when forget to close my car windows?

   Life as a woman is just adding new body parts to your shaving regimen every year until you die.

   IoT warning: my refrigerator just whispered to me my life would be better if I switch to satellite TV

   wishing he lived life like Cyde & Ely Shoelace on youtube!!!

   OMG Pikachu!!! My life is now complete.

   Important life lesson learned.... you can't hide a bogger under a glass table.

   The best things in life aren't free, they're 16 bucks a case and either 60 bucks at the cat house or the cost of room and board at home.

   Thank you Facebook. If not for you, I would be jealous of my friends thinking their life isnt boring.

   The best things in life can't be seen or touched. At least that's what this restraining order says.

   Crime doesn't pay folks ...Oh! wait Whitey Bulger lives like Scarface his young life & Now he gets to stay in a nursing home completely free? Prison ...nursing home..>> same thing !

   If you had a good time, the best time of your life and you don't post it on social media, did it really happen?

   You know you have been neglecting your own life when you keep up with the Kardashians, know most celebrities’ birthdays and are up to date on most celebrities’ lives and know all their favourite foods.

   I've just clicked on my phone's front camera by mistake, Yoh never been this terrified in my life!!!

   Some days feel like abandon your life and join the French Foreign Legion kind of days.

   I had so many great women in my life, yet I don't know where they're at... at least that's what I told the cops ;)

   Facebook and now songpop keep telling me to find friends. It's pretty bad when a computer program is telling you that you have a pathetic life.