life Funny Status Messages

   Most of us will spend part of our life having Larry King for a stepfather.

   thinks if you do not have enough regret in your life, try shaving your head while living in Western PA.

   I find it a little insulting when I do a facebook search for an old friend, and I get a message stating, "Sorry. There's no account set up for this person who obviously has a life."

   Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing you're life is

   Sears is no longer a store, it's a place to question the purpose and fate of life on earth

   Life is waaaaaay too short to safely remove a usb...

   Time is running out for me to discover the meaning of life

   Thank you for pointing out that today is the first day of the rest of my life. I thought it was yesterday.

   "Dear Life ...Patience is a virtue of a few and I have been ur sincere student for quite sometime now so plz give up on the idea of me giving up....Destiny awaits me......"

   ok...who watches Jeremy Kyle to make themselves feel better about thier own screwed up life?

   I used to think that the 2 separate things that irritated me most in life were: 1) Stupid People and 2) Traffic. That was until I witnessed stupid people driving in traffic, then it's HYSTERIA.

   You should Go Ahead and live life with regrets because the more bad decisions you make tonight the better your Facebook Posts will be tomorrow!

   When LIFE turns itz BACK on U.. SLAP itz a$$!!!!

   I've decided the best way to proceed in life from here on out is by walking around rubbing my n!pples and talking in the Fat B@st@rd voice.

   I live my life with no regrets. I apologize for nothing. I'm sorry but that's just the way it is!"

   If dialysis saved your life, you may be able to sue someone for money!!

   Life is like an iPhone, it's only as fun as the apps you have downloaded!!!!

   The Pope has called life in Germany under the Nazi's a "dark time". Altar boys have called life in Germany UNDER Priests "hurty hurty time".

   Your Sunday morning bible lesson :And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."....... But John came fifth and won a toaster.

   Your picture on Facebook (`▽´) .Your face in real life (‾(••)‾)