love Funny Status Messages

   Love is free but Loyalty is going to cost you extra.

   If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don't want it...

   share love not herpes

   Gotta love Amazon wish lists, it's like saying "it's the thought that counts, so long as you only buy me exactly what I want.

   Don't try and fix me, just love me dammit!

   Today, famous author Elizabeth Gilbert of "Eat, Pray, Love" fame revealed she left her husband for her female best friend. Future plans include a sequel to the best-selling book entitled "Eat, Pray, Scissor."

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take JCGJ too..

   I love Ellen. I'm gonna marry her idk how but I'm gonna make it happen.

   I love my new wood heater. Women actually want to take their clothes off for a change

   Nothing like choking someone with love to make them run away from you.

   I go from love to restraining order in one marriage.

   Pro tip:When women want to be held, hold em When they're sad, love em When they're drunk, try for butthole. It's easier when they're drunk \ :D /

   "Welcome to Costco, I love you."

   We love Lesbians!!! We love Lesbians!!! ~ Jerry Springer Audience

   some people take so much s hit from me and are still in love with me. it's great!

   I love burritos at four a.m. Parties that never end. I love quarterbacks eating dirt Pom-poms and short skirts And...and twins!"

   Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk past you again?

   My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL." :)

   You can't be hot when you're asleep, especially when you're in a deep sleeping having a dream about making love to a Snowman!

   "I love it when you rub your happiness in my face & facebook" said no one ever.