love Funny Status Messages

   Love is being willing to die for someone that you want to disfigure with acid, decapitate, and send through a wood chipper on a daily basis.

   I was making love to Robert Pattinson for seven hours straight until security told me that Madam Tussuads was getting ready to close.

   If some of your citizens have lost faith in the flag and country, maybe you needs to try to find out why and address their grievances instead of trying to force them to respect the flag and love their country.

   More often than not sadly... The three phases of love: 1.XOXO 2. XXX 3.EX

   Oh, I would love to stay for your yoga class....but, I think I would rather floss with barbwire or give myself a tattoo.

   I want to be loved like white guys love khaki shorts.

   God put one arm around me today for love and protection and then your hand over my mouth...It's just gonna be one of those days!

   American Patriotism is not defined as the love of our country to the exclusion of all else, it's the love of a country that's great enough to include everything else!

   girls are like phones. we love to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!!

   just made love to Luisa Gronqvist in the middle of the street.

   I love the poorly educated. Laughter would be scarce without them.

   Dear Auntie Em, "I Hate you and I hate Kansas, I'm leaving and I'm taking the dog.... Love Dorothy.

   I use to think that wearing masks was so ridiculous and lame. Now that I've seen him wear one, I love masks and I can get enough of them.

   This may be the wine talking, but I really, really, really, really love wine.

   If you're gonna have raw sex with the person you love so much, at least do it wearing the safest thing...A WEDDING RING!

   PETA would like to remind the protesters in EGYPT: FOR THE LOVE OF ALLAH, PLEASE DON'T SMOKE THE CAMELS!!!!

   Casey Anthony not guilty, Troy Davis being executed...Everybody Hates Chris but Everybody Love Raymond..smh..who says it ain't bout color ?

   What do you think of when you hear the word woman? I think of lingerie, stilettos, cosmetics, sweet perfumes, love. What about when I hear the word wife? I think of nagging, booze and staying out till late.

   Did you here about the elderly couple who lived next to a church? .....They were making love to the rhythm of the church bells..........A fire engine went passed and the old man died of a heart attack.

   Sometimes, people get caught up in their own self pity/misery that they fail to see what they are doing to the people around who love them