life Funny Status Messages

   May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook

   Last New Year's, people promised me that 2011 would be MY year. Those people are liars and are no longer my life coaches

   I life without mistakes, is a life full of mistakes!

   I often wonder what I've done with my life. But then my clinically sane friends visit me, and I remember why I enjoy being nuts!!!

   thinks Twitter spoils us... if only we could limit people in real life to 140 characters or less.

   I named my dog life because she is a b!tch too.

   Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren't in our best interest?

   There has never been a saying more true in my life: You are not a third wheel! You are a majestic unicycle and they are your noble training wheels.

   Mayweather just made $41 million for a workout. Life is so unfair.

   ME: (in prison) Come on man! I know you can bust us out of here! KOOL-AID MAN: *closes his bible and looks up* I’m not about that life anymore.

   If I'm ever on life support, unplug me..... then plug me back in. See if that works.

   God has a plan for every1.. if something is meant 2 be it's meant 2 be. Live ur life for today becuase you never know what tomorrow may bring. Tell the ppl you love that you love them, show the ppl you care bout that you care.. Life is 2 short 2 waste..

   for the first time in my adult life....i'm proud to be a Massachusettonian

   Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.

   toooo many Debbie Downers on facebook...wah, my life sucks, wah, my husband died ,wah, I burned dinner...

   No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.

   Advertisers: you can stop using "it will change your life" as a selling point. Cocaine, unemployment, and AIDS will also change your life.

   When life gives Lady Gaga lemons... She makes an outfit.

   ...If you look at LIFE like a piano - where the white keys represent happiness & the black keys represent sadness.. As life goes on, you realize the black keys make the music too...(",)

   Jesus is the way, the truth and the life!