life Funny Status Messages

   Never owned a single pair of shoes in my life. I just keep renting them from the bowling alley.

   If you want to be a part of my life you will only communicate with me via electronics.

   life is such a fkn rollercoaster then it drops, but what should I scream for? this is my theme park. my mind shine even when my thoughts seem dark.

   If people winked and "laughed out loud" in real life half as much as they did when they were texting the world would be a very creepy place ;) lol

   You're saying," All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don't get into relationships. " DO you have life?

   They say it gets easier with time, but I guess when you let someone really special go, you'll spend the rest of your life just missing them.

   People have got to stop saying "LIFE SUCKS"... because my husband is now saying he wished he had a LIFE!

   i can not take away your storms of life but I can help you dance through the puddles!!!

   If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

   I live mosy of my life on the edge... Cause my fat ass girlfriend takes up most of the bed and couch.

   I hope the Olympics teaches kids and parents that in real life you do not get a trophy just for participating.

   Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

   Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers...make sure you hands are clean!

   Unless life also hands you water and sugar, that lemonade is gonna suck.

   It's hard to get people's sympathy when your life is in shambles, mainly because the word shambles sounds so darn adorable. Shambles!

   I am the author of my life, Unfortunately I am writing in pen, So I cant erase my mistakes

   A Life ?! Where can I download one of those?

   My life is like a Lambourghini. It's going too fast, and it costs too much.

   If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.

   When life hands you pig hooves and horse gums, make hot dogs.