love Funny Status Messages
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I love God. I just don't like the peope who work for him.
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07-08-2011 07:25
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I don't ever want to feel, like I did that day. Take me to the place I love. Take me all the way.
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08-10-2013 02:35
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I love to run my finger up the outline of a womans camel toe.
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01-23-2012 12:17
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Pro Tip: 84% of my adult life is singing the chorus from Boyz 2 Men's "I'll Make Love To You" at the most inappropriate time.
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06-10-2016 01:15
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I love yoga class. Except my yoga class is on my couch with a donut and instead of stretching, I cramp up due to lack of activity.
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06-10-2016 01:39
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I know you love me baby. I know. Which is why I got this restraining order on your ass.
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09-25-2012 02:24
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I love when I can see a grown adult be happier than a kid in a candy store and the candy is shaped like toys!!!
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06-16-2016 23:58
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You kiss the end, then seductively lick the length without breaking eye contact as you place it in your mouth. I love the way you eat bacon.
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04-08-2018 13:59
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enough already we don’t love you at your that or at your this
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04-09-2018 02:28
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I'm so used to ending phone calls with family and friends by saying "I love you", that I accidentally said it to the female agent at Spectrum. Anyway, she gave me 6 months of free internet and HBO.
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03-15-2020 07:07 by Fazzy
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A wife is like a box of chocolates, you never know which of her multiple moods you're going to get, you just better act like you love it.
Freud said "Love & work are the cornerstones of our humaness." I say it's love and that show "Pawn Stars".
It's not true love until they offer to get decapitated, cooked and eaten by you.
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08-01-2012 05:10
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i found a sexy person who I love very much.... it's a shame i'm not allowed to marry myself
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01-29-2013 20:13 by Eddy
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I make my decisions like I make love. I don't, because I'm married.
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09-13-2013 13:19
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Loving someone who doesn’t love you back isn’t as bad as trying to eat something immediately after brushing your teeth.
You don’t have to be drunk to love me, but it helps
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11-25-2013 12:03
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The ONE true love that makes you a sandwich and forgets that you are gluten intolerant
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03-17-2014 13:09
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She calls it "making love." I call it "trying to destroy her."
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10-08-2016 16:23
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I'm ambidextrous; I can drink and make love equally well with either my left or right hand.
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03-14-2012 13:26
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