life Funny Status Messages

   Sarcasm is not a way of speaking, it is a way of life.

   had the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.

   I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the makers of alcohol for making life worth living.

   The majority of my life is spent alone, the rest is spent feeling alone.

   Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life. Where I'm going, if I'll fall in love, what I want in life... Then I pull up my pants and flush the toilet.

   Nothing like seeing 30+ year old wearing a cap backwards to remind you that your life doesn’t suck that much.

   Life is like a doughnut. You're either in the dough or in the hole.

   Video game truths: anyone with a lower score than me is a loser and anyone with a higher score is a loser with no life!

   It was revealed today that Obama will spend a half Billion bucks on his Presidential Historical Library. Question: If he has sequestered virtually every document from his past...SO...Why even build a historical Library about your life in the first place?

   When people ask me "How's life?", I sing them the chorus of Akon's Lonely while crying and slowly walk away.

   I’m not really into the idea of letting a set of made up ancient rules dictate my life. Hell I'm not real keen modern laws telling me what I can and cannot do!

   Millions of men have fought and died just so you have the right to…go on a website and whine about your ever so slightly imperfect life

   "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didnâ€

   LIFE is the art of drawing...WITHOUT an eraser

   To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

   it looks like the word "horseplay" has taken on a whole new meaning and has been essentialy ruined for life...thanks Sandscumsky

   I am thankful for Facebook for it has made my life as a stalker a whole lot easier. Gone are the days of standing in the dark, in the rain behind some bushes and providing free meal for mosquitoes no to mention restrain orders.

   Life will take you down sometimes, its up2 you if you wanna pull yourself back up!!

   The snooze button is life's way of saying that waking up sucks.

   If saying a bunch of stupid crap on the internet is what life's all about, then I'm living the dream.