life Funny Status Messages

   Holding grudges gets you no where in life but it does prove how stuck in the past you are.

   Sure I'll quit Facebook. Just as soon as someone teaches my 'real life' friends to be as funny and cool as my 'fake' Facebook friends!

   When my kids look back on the photos of my life they'll think, "Wow, he wore that shirt a lot."

   The biggest obstacle to living your life happily the way you want is other human beings.

   I wish life would use lube before it bends me over.

   How do you get high on life? That would save me a ton of money on street drugs.

   If I haven't done something you asked me to do and I say it's because life has "been crazy", it really means I've just been lazy.

   Following the death of Eddie Stobart the other day, a film is being made of his life. It looks good, I've seen the trailer!

   Jeez I thought my dating life was bad before the Coronavirus.

   I saved my husband’s life insurance company 1 million dollars by switching to xanax.

   I need to get a gun rack for the work truck to hold two things important in my life right now...job prints and my fishing pole.

   I pondered the meaning of life once, but then I just went back to living it.

   the irony is a group of blacks picked the white cotton guy out.....for life

   If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tounges and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in messages, it would be creepy as hell.

   Funny how Facebook is Fantasy Island for some. They pretend to be something they are not on FB but in real life are real douchebags!

   One day, your life will flash b4 your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.

   I hate when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want! They don't know my life! They don't know what I've been through!!!

   Michael Brown lived a thug life and died a thug death. Let it go.

   We have all been walked on, taken for granted, forgotten, used and abused at some point in our lives. For the strong ones, life goes on, for the weak ones, life goes to waste.

   You only live once. Have fun, enjoy life to the fullest, do what you want and don't look back, smile, love somebody. live for the future, not the past. Life is too short to be p!ssed off all the time!