santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Whenever I get a Christmas present that I don't want, I hold onto it and give it to someone else as their birthday gift.

   How the Grinch Stole Christmas is my favorite holiday special about a burglar whose crimes go wholly unpunished.

   Score ! I just bought my wife a 20 pound bag of Diamonds for Christmas......well they're diamonds in the rough...... maybe EARLY stage diamonds...... but with enough time and pressure......they will be diamonds......Thanks Kingsford !

   I went to Jared for my girlfriend's Christmas gift. I'm sure she will love her Subway gift card.

   If all my Christmas presents were wrapped in bubble wrap... it's be like two gifts in one!!

   Don't you find those people who keep updating how many days to christmas annoying? Anyway it's 37 days to christmas.

   In order to refrain from spending too much on Christmas, I'm voluntarily placing myself in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.

   Nothing brings out the worst in human nature like a crowded mall. :) I can't wait to start Christmas shopping!

   When I was a child, I always used to search my parent's drawers and cupboards in the run up to Christmas so I'd know exactly what to expect. Although I never did receive that Vibratron Pleasuremax 3000.

   Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!!

   Dear Santa, I didn't want to make it too hard for you this year, so, the only thing on my list this year is 1 year paid leave from work. with bonus

   I snuck in my neighbor's house last night and ate up all their Christmas cookies. This secret Santa thing isn't so bad after all.

   I've got Christmas spirit!! I just hung a little Christmas tree air freshener in my car.....ahhhhh smells like the holidays

   Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

   Santa loves the rich kids more.

   Every time a Christmas tree is lit before Thanksgiving, an elf drowns a baby reindeer.

   Christmas shopping for your parents isnt easy. I mean, what DO you buy someone who has the perfect gift. Like me, for example

   hors d'oevures now there is a word that snooty people like to use regularly, most of us just say "snacks" and we survive the holidays just fine.

   I'm going to make Christmas cookies with dog bone cookie cutters & see if anyone eats them this year!!!

   Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I'm calling Santa!"