love Funny Status Messages

   We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and facebook can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone. Orson Welles

   "I love candles. What's with the knives? Wait, stop. Please stop!" - Pumpkin

   Know what I love about my dogs? I can lock 'em in the trunk of my car for an hour, and when I open it, they're excited to see me. Can't do that with a wife...

   ''If he doesn't hit you, he doesn't love you.'' - Rihanna

   will write you a love song unlike that Sara Bareilles b**ch

   I love when bicthes make status about how much the hate b**ches

   Dont you just love X-mas time. Its the only legal stalking month. You know what I mean.. Someone pops out of the mall..you follow them and a nice slow stalking speed..Waiting ..Then you know its time to attack..Got the parking stall. Mission accomplished!

   I love mustache, rides.

   Every morning I long to hold you, I need you, I want you, I love your warmth... your smell, your taste... Ohhh coffee I love you. Good Morning!

   My mother texted me "What does IDK, LY,& TTYL means? I answered: I don't know, love u, talk to you later. Mother: Ok I'll ask your sister

   I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Rosie O'Donnell too..

   I LOVE JESUS TOO...he's my mexican lover.

   Do what you love, and the money will follow, unless what you love is Facebook.

   Dear women: we don't give a CRAP about eyebrows. Love, men.

   I'm currently killing a twelve pack, and every squirrel within fifty yards of my porch. Love me some Saturdays.

   Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

   Why does everyone love dolphins so much? They're mammals that can breathe under water and they're smarter than us. We should be worried.

   If it's between love and losing And to never have known the feeling, I'd still side with love And if I end up lonely at least I will be there knowing I believe in love

   If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it's a Booty Call!