life Funny Status Messages

   if life aint crazy, you aint livin!!!

   In life, it seems the group of people who are easily offended and the group of people who are easily confused tend to be the same group.

   Used to have a life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!

   I tried to be normal once. Worst sex I've ever had in my life.

   Alright kids... Life is going to continue to throw the same lesson at you until you finally learn it, so don't act all surprised when your boyfriend/girlfriend situation explodes in flames like it always does when you keep choosing the same type of clowns

   There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it's not giving up, it's realizing that you don't need certain people and their crap.

   Life gave me onions. Onionade sucks.

   Life? Listen to me, kid... You only have to watch River Monsters once,, for your Netflix recommendations to be in shambles

   If the best things in life really are free, why am I still getting charged at the liquor store? I call bull crap..

   "There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found" is a very nonchalant way to react to a snowman coming to life.

   Imagine a life without facebook where you would actually have to watch the news again...

   Life can sometimes be like photography… you need the "negatives" to "develop"

   I drink a shot of whiskey a day to toast good life & fortune and then the rest of the bottle because I like being drunk.

   When you DIE, your True friends will cry. While your Best friends will collect 7 Dragon Balls, just to bring your life back...

   if your not living life on the edge....... your taking up too much space!

   spent my life in books and written pages, lived and learned from fools and from sages

   Life is like a sports car: It goes too fast, and it costs too much

   At the end of your life, you should get a rebate for however much time you spent learning cursive.

   Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end ya get the faster it goes.

   Facebook: A place where you can make your life look like something it's not.