love Funny Status Messages

   I love the beach but I hate watching the Tide go out…It reminds me of my receding Hairline.

   I love Scrooge McDuck for his personality, not his wealth.

   it is "Poke a CNA" week, they have it rough, let's show them some love...

   THINGS THAT ARE DAMN HARD TO FIND: 1. A phone on silent 2. Fat girl's clitoris 3. True love

   I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

   I'm so full of Love I poot out Heart shape bubbles...<3 <3 <3 <3

   If you love someone, set them fee. If they don't come back, call them up later when you're drunk.

   I love Captain Crunch,,, and by that I mean I can't get enough of tasting the "roof of my mouth" skin... Two more bowls till I can tongue my brain.

   40% of the men say "I Love You" by accident...the other 60% who do not say that..meet with an accident !

   The only "B" word you should call a women is beautiful. B*tches love to be called beautiful

   I pretty much need a girl to love me for what's on the outside at this point. The inside has been broken for a while and I've been trying to fix it with booze ever since.

   Jehovah's Witnesses? Please, come on in. Yes, I would LOVE to listen, but first let's talk about MY religion. Let me get the blowtorch.

   "We Found Love in a Swollen Face" by Rihanna ft. Chris Brown

   I hate when I accidentally get married and have 11 children with a woman then realize I dont love her anymore and leave her for my secretary

   Telling somebody you love them is like telling them your dream from last night. You can explain all you want. They'll never understand.

   Its the love of money thats the root of all evil you retard get your facts straight..

   I hate when couples say "I love you." after just a week of dating. Ignorant fools. Makes me want to slap them in the face.

   Tim Tebow may love Jesus, but it's pretty apparent that Jesus is NOT a Tebow fan.

   I love the word "Allegedly". You can make up anything about anyone without any reprisal... allegedly.

   Women are not complicated... They just want love... and chocolate... and shoes... and some other stuff