love Funny Status Messages

   I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment. We just sleep together every night and wake up together every morning.

   Dear people who think Romeo and Juliet was a romantic love story.... It was a relationship between a 13 yr old and 17 yr old that lasted 3 days and resulted in 6 deaths.... Sincerely, Everyone that has actually read the story!

   Didn we all love Kinder... where the hardest decision was picking a crayon

   Dear sleep, I know we had our problems when I was young... but I love you now.

   I love the beach but I hate watching the Tide go out…It reminds me of my receding Hairline.

   I love Scrooge McDuck for his personality, not his wealth.

   it is "Poke a CNA" week, they have it rough, let's show them some love...

   THINGS THAT ARE DAMN HARD TO FIND: 1. A phone on silent 2. Fat girl's clitoris 3. True love

   I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

   I'm so full of Love I poot out Heart shape bubbles...<3 <3 <3 <3

   If you love someone, set them fee. If they don't come back, call them up later when you're drunk.

   I love Captain Crunch,,, and by that I mean I can't get enough of tasting the "roof of my mouth" skin... Two more bowls till I can tongue my brain.

   40% of the men say "I Love You" by accident...the other 60% who do not say that..meet with an accident !

   The only "B" word you should call a women is beautiful. B*tches love to be called beautiful

   I pretty much need a girl to love me for what's on the outside at this point. The inside has been broken for a while and I've been trying to fix it with booze ever since.

   Jehovah's Witnesses? Please, come on in. Yes, I would LOVE to listen, but first let's talk about MY religion. Let me get the blowtorch.

   "We Found Love in a Swollen Face" by Rihanna ft. Chris Brown

   I hate when I accidentally get married and have 11 children with a woman then realize I dont love her anymore and leave her for my secretary

   Telling somebody you love them is like telling them your dream from last night. You can explain all you want. They'll never understand.

   Its the love of money thats the root of all evil you retard get your facts straight..