life Funny Status Messages

   Probably the lowest point in my life was when I fucked a guy who liked Nickelback. I'll never forgive myself.

   If at least one ex hasn't called you psycho, you aren't living life to the fullest.

   If you're constantly posting “loving my life!” as your Facebook status, you're probably not.

   Sometimes, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.

   "The Hangover Part 3" starring Prince Harry is now playing out in real life. Also you can now say every Ruler ISN'T 12 Inches LONG.

   Somewhere, someone is thinking about you and the impact you made in their life.... It's not me, I think you're a prick.

   Your relationship ended. Not your life -_-

   Remember how simple and happy life was before you met me? Yeah…I am sorry about that.

   Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.

   I will no longer need your services REAL LIFE...I Now have MineCraft!

   You're the only thing that doesn't make sense in my life.

   A perfect day is everyday I'm spending my life without you.

   HEY,,,, Don't complain to me about "how hard life is out there",,, When I was your age,,, they only had three types of salad dressing,,,,,,,THREE......

   "Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts."

   I have done literally nothing in my life to prevent forest fires.

   I'm not worried about my babies or worried about my wife,, I'm just a little bit worried about not ending up with all of that in my life!!

   B!tch please, life aint that short to have sex on the very first date.

   Worst FB moment in your life... Friend request from your mom.

   When my kids look back on the photos of my life they'll think, "Wow, he wore that shirt a lot."

   "The best things in life are me." - Narcissists.