santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   : Does that mean Santa knows where all the naughty girls live? No wonder he's so jolly!!

   the difference in Tiger Woods and Santa is Santa stops at 3 hos.

   I'm dreaming of a melty turquoise Christmas. And sugar plums are fighting lesbian dragons in my head. This LSD-nog is fantastic.

   : Dear Santa, For being so good this year, can I get a look at that naughty girls list?

   I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark

   Christmas used to be the best when I believed in Santa Claus....i wanna be 15 again

   Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

   that if an old, fat man comes down you chimney tonight, creeps into your bedroom and kidnaps you don't worry! I asked santa for a friend for christmas and he is just getting me one :)

   Chasing a FAT MAN in red with salad, Oh It's SANTA

   Let's start a post that will be positive . . . . What is on your Christmas wish list?? (in the real world, of course we'd all like more money, etc....)

   ....MMmmm Santa, I'm so naughty I'll turn your HO HO HO into OH OH OH!!

   learned that the best gift of chirstmas is seeing the disappointment in a childs face when you tell them santa isn't real.

   MERRY XMAS EVERYONE (Yes I know it's a bit early, but I thought I'd start with you miserable and argumentative plebs first!)

   has found an artificial leg on a bus and is going to give it to his wife as a Xmas present. It should make the ideal stocking filler!

   I was thinking about becoming an atheist, but I thought screw it, you don't get any holidays.

   went into a elementary school and told the kids santa isnt real

   Santa must be a man. No woman would be caught dead wearing the same clothes every Christmas!

   if it weren't for the presents and money think about how terrifying it would be to our children that a fat man, a fairy and a giant rabbit break into their houses every year...

   A poll found that 55 percent of shoppers start their Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving. The other 45 percent are men.

   thinks Santa is a judgemental twat who bears a grudge. I've explained the Elves incident a hundred times now. So what if I was caught naked with one of his helpers in a cupboard, it was all an innocent mistake!