love Funny Status Messages

   I'm 99.9999% sure you're not in love with me, but it's that 0.0001% that gives me hope and keeps me holding on.

   I hate people who can't make up their minds. I love them.

   Hey pistachio with the shell welded shut.. I know you've been hurt before, but I just want to love you... Let me in, Baby....

   Process of liking a song: 1 Day: I love this song! 1 Week: Hey that song's good. 1 Month: Turn that s$it off! 1 Year: OMG, I love this song!

   Text this to someone: I just love making you check your phone for no reason, who's my bi$ch? You are.

   Whoever said "If you love something, let it go" should have clarified that statement with "but not if it's a baby!"

   So my son keeps getting in trouble at school so I go to meet his teacher and she is Hot.. So after I left the teacher my son says " so now can you see why I love getting asked to stay after class". What can you say to that!!!..jamie wallis

   I love it when I get things delivered that I ordered when drunk. Its like a gift from drunk me to sober me .

   I love a nice dark red with hints of oak and floral overtones. And, it was a double flusher!!

   Like my Great Grandmother always used to say,,,, 'Marry someone who will love you for your posts and not your profile banner.'

   there is love and friendship then there is declaring love and friendship on Facebook, two totally different worlds that seldom are one.

   Just ONCE would I love to see a girl I know in a porno

   I have friends that my wife hates. I love those friends the most.

   I have friends that my mom hates. I love those friends the most.

   Roses are red; foxes are clever. I love your butt; let me touch it forever.

   Love how the Salvation Army gets top dollar for donated old crap...I thought they were supposed to help poor people. Sorry Mr. Freezing Homeless guy..that coat is $40.

   Dear fad following teenage girls, could one of you at least clean the mirror before taking your photo, and we'd like to thank you all for showing us 1 disgusting bathroom after another. Love, the world.

   I must love my work...I love to sit and stare at it for hours....that's love right????

   No I do not want to watch your sister's wrestling match, but I'd love to see her box.

   I love Sundays, because my Italian grandmother cooks THE BEST crystal meth.