Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 847 of 6383
Ever noticed that some english speaking tv stations has SAP in spanish for the latino viewers. But spanish speaking tv stations does not have SAP in english for the english speaking viewers.
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09-14-2017 20:07
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Lactose intolerance is said to be the primary cause of a cheesy combustible.
Salad? You mean crunchy sadness?
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09-14-2017 15:14
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Hmmm, everyone sharing memories like we all wanna slice.....
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09-14-2017 15:01
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Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
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09-14-2017 14:40
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Social Justice Crowd: Irma's not my hurricane!
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09-14-2017 14:32
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The new iPhone costs $999. The entire Cracker Barrel menu costs 887.71. Let that sink in.
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09-14-2017 12:54
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Score one for the good guys! Trump is going to protect the dreamers.
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09-14-2017 12:50
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Did anyone see last night's episode of South Park? It was hilarious how they were making fun of the rednecks and their obsessive-compulsive disorder for working.
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09-14-2017 12:24
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Bigfoot saw me yesterday but no one believes him.
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09-14-2017 09:21
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OK. So I danced like no one was watching. I need bail money.
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09-14-2017 08:24
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"Waiter, how do you prepare your lobsters?" "Nothing special. We just them straight out that they are going to die."
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09-14-2017 08:06
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The only way the Democrats would do away with Obamacare would be if it required a photo ID to get it.
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09-14-2017 08:01
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Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
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09-14-2017 07:56
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All of a sudden no one wants to shake my hand. T.C.
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09-14-2017 01:23
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I notice there aren't any BLM, Antifa, or any other social justice protesters out helping Irma victims! Just Trump, Christian's, & FEMA
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09-13-2017 23:23
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If you ever meet Ted Cruz. You schould now think twice about shaking his hand.
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09-13-2017 23:11
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I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. I don't have time for those meetings.
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09-13-2017 21:27
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I wish I had a "friend with benefits." By benefits, I mean they'd own an ice cream store and the benefits would be free ice cream.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
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09-13-2017 17:58
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