santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   if my right leg was christmas and my left leg was easter, I would love for you to visit in between the holidays

   Try this experiment: The next time someone says "Oh, I'm fine..." look them square in the eyes and say "Tell me the truth." Sometimes all people really want is someone to take an interest. Show them you care all the time, not just at Christmas.

   all alone on christmas so why not get drunk ? Beers in the fridge !

   asked Santa Claus for a boyfriend this Christmas... He gave me a rain check instead... lol :)

   looking forward to the family tradition of listening to the UK's No 1 after Xmas dinner. Can't wait to see the look on my mum's face!

   Dear Santa, Define Good. Love X

   To America's welfare recipients..."your welcome for a great year and a free Christmas"...from the rest of us hard working Americans that work for hard your well being every day.  

   Just left Walmart, to get out of there, I had to strangle 6 moms, run over 12 kids, and kick 1 grandma in a scooter. There goes my present from Santa.

   Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered

   Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? - You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit

   wonderin if this will be the year. Santa hasn't visited me since I moved out the first time. Can't figure it out!

   Wants Santa to bring me one of the hot girls thats on his naughty list

   Santa: If you ignore my actions during weekends (& sometimes the workday) and all the Vicodin I took, you'll see that 6 out of 12 months, I was a good boy, which makes me 50% good. It's up to you- see the glass half empty or half full. Do the right thing!

   out spreading Christmas Cheer by streaking at sporting events.

   Dear Santa: if you ignore all my actions during weekends and all the alcohol I drank, you'll see that 6 out of 12 months I was a good boy, wich makes me 50% good...It's up to you to see the glass half empty or half full

   Don't get your hopes up. Santa has about as much of a chance of bringing "Hope and Change" as a clown does.

   Christmas is the time of year when we want our pasts forgotten and our presents remembered!

   Anyone know about how much Santa weighs ... I am currently setting a trap and need some info.

   We made Gingerbread Man cookies today, and I'm still laughing. My kids were acting out Shrek with them, and one was Lord Farquad: "I'm not the monster, you are! Now tell me where are the others!" The other was the GBM: "Eat Me!" Christmas with kids = win

   if good girls sit on santa's lap, do bad ones sit on his face?