santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Idea for a Christmas Party: Have two guys dress as Jesus and Santa Claus. One brings wine the other brings Eggnog with vodka. Santa brings his 12 reindeer playboy bunnies. All at your mother-in-law's house. ONE BIG JINGLE FOR THE YEAR.

   FACEBOOK + CHRISTMAS = Endless status updates reminding you what month it is. Not to mention pages and pages of people's Xmas pics.

   What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

   Christmas Card $3.00 Brand new "Shrek" dvd $20.00 Gift wrap $2.00 The look of disappointment in a childs face when you tell them santa isn't real - PRICELESS !!!

   knows a lot of people that will corner the market on coal this Christmas

   just met a lot of people who will corner the market on coal this Christmas.

   wondering if unemployment will be sending me a christmas bonus?

   got a sweater for Christmas ... he really wanted a moaner or a screamer 

   (Tiger's Christmas Song) Oh the weather outside is frightful. Having many tramps is so delightful. Just so my hot wife don't know…text a ho, text a ho, text a ho.

   can't wait to watch his favourite Christmas movie, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Due To Santa's Urinary Tract Infection"

   wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.

   : Santa Claus reported his naughty girls list stolen, Police comfirm Tiger Woods is the prime suspect.

   : Does that mean Santa knows where all the naughty girls live? No wonder he's so jolly!!

   the difference in Tiger Woods and Santa is Santa stops at 3 hos.

   I'm dreaming of a melty turquoise Christmas. And sugar plums are fighting lesbian dragons in my head. This LSD-nog is fantastic.

   : Dear Santa, For being so good this year, can I get a look at that naughty girls list?

   I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark

   Christmas used to be the best when I believed in Santa Claus....i wanna be 15 again

   Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

   that if an old, fat man comes down you chimney tonight, creeps into your bedroom and kidnaps you don't worry! I asked santa for a friend for christmas and he is just getting me one :)