santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered

   Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? - You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit

   wonderin if this will be the year. Santa hasn't visited me since I moved out the first time. Can't figure it out!

   Wants Santa to bring me one of the hot girls thats on his naughty list

   Santa: If you ignore my actions during weekends (& sometimes the workday) and all the Vicodin I took, you'll see that 6 out of 12 months, I was a good boy, which makes me 50% good. It's up to you- see the glass half empty or half full. Do the right thing!

   out spreading Christmas Cheer by streaking at sporting events.

   Dear Santa: if you ignore all my actions during weekends and all the alcohol I drank, you'll see that 6 out of 12 months I was a good boy, wich makes me 50% good...It's up to you to see the glass half empty or half full

   Don't get your hopes up. Santa has about as much of a chance of bringing "Hope and Change" as a clown does.

   Christmas is the time of year when we want our pasts forgotten and our presents remembered!

   Anyone know about how much Santa weighs ... I am currently setting a trap and need some info.

   We made Gingerbread Man cookies today, and I'm still laughing. My kids were acting out Shrek with them, and one was Lord Farquad: "I'm not the monster, you are! Now tell me where are the others!" The other was the GBM: "Eat Me!" Christmas with kids = win

   if good girls sit on santa's lap, do bad ones sit on his face?

   was surprised to find a Christmas present from last year while getting the decorations out. The kids were all excited as I opened the box. What a pity it was a dead puppy

   I'm shaking my laptop trying to figure out what's in the presents under my virtual Christmas tree..

   thinks Christmas must be near. Just found a partridge in one of the pear trees on Farmtown

   thinking the perfect holiday date for me this year has WELL HUNG stockings, a mistletoe belt buckle, nice christmas balls and NUMBA 1 SPOT on the naughty list.

   Dear Santa: How much for your list with all the naughty girls on it?

   contemplating doing a combination of christmas and easter, wrap the gifts, then hide them all over the house, voila...Christer!!!

   apologizes for sounding insensitive, but that "Christmas Shoes" song just plain sucks.

   Well I just bought another load of laundry and a few things to dust for Christmas... I hope my family and friends enjoy a little extra work... You're welcome...That's just how I roll...