santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   outsmarted Santa this year... see I need coal to heat my house, so I was extra bad so I would get more coal! Now who's laughing fat guy?

   thinks businesses that make their employees work on Christmas day are from the devil! Except for the gas stations and all of the other businesses I'm going to need today.... those ones are sent from God!

   I think I overdosed on my family.....Santa has the right idea....only visit some ppl once a year.....

   Christ's Hope Rescuing Iniquitous Souls To Miraculously Administer Salvation!!! Thank God for Christmas!!!!

   If you can't figure out what to get someone for Christmas, get them a gift card! It's like saying, "Here's $20... go get your own damn gift!"

   eating Babybels at this special time of year. After all, Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without the baby cheeses.

   I dont believe in Santa...but with no money in my pocket ....I think I will change my opinion about him.....

   if my right leg was christmas and my left leg was easter, I would love for you to visit in between the holidays

   Try this experiment: The next time someone says "Oh, I'm fine..." look them square in the eyes and say "Tell me the truth." Sometimes all people really want is someone to take an interest. Show them you care all the time, not just at Christmas.

   all alone on christmas so why not get drunk ? Beers in the fridge !

   asked Santa Claus for a boyfriend this Christmas... He gave me a rain check instead... lol :)

   looking forward to the family tradition of listening to the UK's No 1 after Xmas dinner. Can't wait to see the look on my mum's face!

   Dear Santa, Define Good. Love X

   To America's welfare recipients..."your welcome for a great year and a free Christmas"...from the rest of us hard working Americans that work for hard your well being every day.  

   Just left Walmart, to get out of there, I had to strangle 6 moms, run over 12 kids, and kick 1 grandma in a scooter. There goes my present from Santa.

   Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered

   Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? - You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit

   wonderin if this will be the year. Santa hasn't visited me since I moved out the first time. Can't figure it out!

   Wants Santa to bring me one of the hot girls thats on his naughty list

   Santa: If you ignore my actions during weekends (& sometimes the workday) and all the Vicodin I took, you'll see that 6 out of 12 months, I was a good boy, which makes me 50% good. It's up to you- see the glass half empty or half full. Do the right thing!