love Funny Status Messages

   My wife asked me how I could love her and still enjoy watching porn. I told her, I love my car but I still watch NASCAR

   Dear Women, You know when you pull your bra thru your sleeve & stuff it into the couch? That's as close to us as you'll ever be. Love, Men

   Granddad sure does love his baths - He's been in there for three days now.

   Love is: doing it in random spots all over the house so no one has to sleep in the wet spot.

   Dear Ex, remember those I love you more fights? I won.

   Sometimes the best people to spill your heart to are total strangers. I love you guys.

   Dear ex, remember those I love you more fights?? I won..

   Romeo and Juliet is Not a Love Story... It's a 3-Day relationship between a 13 year-old and a 17 year-old that caused 6 Deaths. Sincerely, -Everyone who actually Read it.

   It's Monday morning sweetie so do me a favor and shut your love hole. No, not that one...the one that makes words.

   Love and Alcohol are same... Once tasted, you can never stay away from them !!!!!

   Beauty and the Beast is my favorite story that teaches kids that if you're ugly, hold a girl against her will & she'll eventually love you.

   I love how the internet has improved people's grammar far more then any English teacher has. If you write "your" instead of "you're" in a English class all you get is a red mark.... Mess up on the Internet just once, and may God have mercy on your soul.

   How do I love thee? Let me count the empty cans.

   If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.

   We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight.

   You find love when you're not looking for it, and you can't find it when you really want to. It's sh!t like this that makes me drink.

   Every time I post,, I get a rush like I'm releasing a little animal into the wild... A hideous, deformed animal that no one will ever love...

   A wife tattooed "I LOVE U" on her nipples and showed it to her husband. He replied: "This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth! "

   I could love anyone provided you're not a jerk, have decent teeth, and a good credit score.

   A picnic is a great way to see what all the foods you love would taste like if you added ants.