santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I don't understand why people buy Christmas trees just to throw them away a month later. Do they think Christmas trees grow on trees?

   I'm dreaming of a 90 degree Christmas

   I just found a Christmas present from last year for the kids....... should have seen their little faces when they opened it...poor little kitty!

   Step 1) Install coal stove. Step 2) Be naughty all year. Step 3) Wait on santa to deliver so I can heat up the house.

   I always try to be unusually kind and compassionate to those around me during the holidays, because I never know who will end up being my Secret Santa.

   So if the Mayans are right, does that mean this is the last Christmas to be visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future?

   Claustrophobia-The fear of Santa Claus

   Dear Santa, please bring me a new butt, mine has a crack in it!

   If a really fat man grabs you and throws you in a bag don't panic its just santa collecting his ho's.I'm txtn you fm the bag.Bring alcohol! Thanks

   The thing guys want most for Christmas: A portrait of themselves in a karate outfit, leaning against a sweet Trans Am.

   I'm buying 100 Gyro-bowls for Christmas. I'm tired of spilling my vodka when I stumble out of the bathroom. who wants one?

   I better lay off the Christmas cookies, my snow angel I just made looks like someone just pulled a stump out of my yard.

   Hates putting lights on the Christmas tree, she feels like an elf being punished for being to tall

   After countless days of research I have solved the mystery.....When Santa says HO! HO! HO!...He is thinking of last name of his 3 favorite naughty sisters...Ima, Ivana, and Anita...

   Everyday I hear people say they would to take a break and get some fresh air. So, this year I'm wrapping some up in boxes and giving as Christmas gifts.

   This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's christmas list.

   I was excited to bring home my Xmas Tree but I didn't have the heart to tell it I'd be leaving it in the street for dead in just a few weeks.

   My girlfriend made me promise that when I fly home this Christmas it was her that I fantasized about during my "TSA pat down"

   You'll know I'm your "Secret Santa" when you dont get anything!

   Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks so cool, hanging from my car's rearview mirror :)