santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   finding the Christmas spirit, now if only I can find someone who is in the giving mood to pay

   setting up a trap to capture Santa when he comes down my chimney tomorrow. I figure he will bring a hefty ransom from the world! Mmmmuuahhhaaha...

   If I had it my way my ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future would be Raquel Welch, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Alba.

   ✔ Food ✔ Beer ✔ More food ✔ Suit ✔ Laundry ✔ Wine ❒ Christmas Gifts ..... Damn

   hoping to be visited by the ghost of Christmas Past. That way I can go back gaze upon those great times.

   a quick message to all who sent me good wishes for Christmas last year - they didn't work - so... this year can I have money, vouchers and alcohol please ;)

   Dear Santa, could you please tell me the meaning of "GOOD"? I'm a little confused of which list I'm on.......

   The only reason kids like Christmas is because they're not the ones buying all the presents.

   To all the people that send those annoying Christmas chain text messages I HOPE YOU GET COAL THIS YEAR UNDER YOUR TREE!!!

   Using a stapler and duct tape sure makes wrapping presents easy....

   BREAKING NEWS: Rudolph commits suicide after Santa upgrades to GPS

   Some relatives are like seeing Santa; you only care to see them once a year.

   If one more person says "all I want for christmas is you" they are gonna get me... with a baseball bat

   Dear Santa, when your done writing the naughty list, can I get my lil black book back? Cheers Guv

   Trying to find a website with all the WikiLeaks information just in case they also have Santa's naughty list!

   would like to see a more man-friendly mall for next Christmas. It needs to have a Home Depot, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, Sears, Gander Mtn, Pep Boys, a Longhorn Steakhouse and ESPN radio playing over the christmas tunes.

   Dear kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents love, Wikileaks

   Dear Santa, My wish 4 this year is a big, fat bank account & a slim body. Pls don't mix these 2 up like you did last year!!!!!

   Whew!!.. just in time ... I got all my Christmas shopping done with one fell swoop... I hope everyone enjoys their Netflicks trial offers :)

   it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...no money, pretty stressed, freezing cold and running nose!