love Funny Status Messages

   Women like to hear things like, I love you and you're so pretty, while men like to hear things like, you're not the father or I swallow.

   I finally found love!! It's on page 364 in the dictionary.

   Buy her alcohol, lots of alcohol. Women love it when you buy them alcohol.

   I love strippers. They're awesome. Plus I can't get my girlfriend to do shi t for a dollar.

   My love comes with more terms and conditions than iTunes.

   People who always say "love is blind" need to be reminded that Stevie Wonder is divorcing his wife

   People who always say "love is blind" need to be reminded that Stevie Wonder is divorcing his wife.

   I'd SOOO love to get back to reading Facebook updates about e-cards, what people are having for lunch, how they would love to hit the gym but that cookie looks so good, and how much they love their children but they sure are getting on mommy's nerves.

   I fell in love today. So what have you guys done to ruin your day?

   I dont believe in love, but I believe in sex.

   People who marry for money over love usually end up cheating for love over money!

   Heading to the polls to vote for the fifth time this week!!!!...... God I love living in the state of Florida!!!!

   If love were truly blind people wouldn't be so damn picky.

   Don't you just hate it when you finally get the courage to confess your love to someone and they just stare at you, meow and walk away.

   I love spending money as much as my government does.

   I love watching all the fish in my tank suck in the same piece of fish shi t and then spitting it out, thinking it was food.

   Let's get married, make babies, argue about money & yell hurtful things at each other while praying for a way out. That's real love baby!

   I love being a woman. I can slap anyone on the ass and get away with it.

   You haven't visited my farm on Facebook. Don't you love me anymore? - Crazy Girlfriend

   You better believe it's true love, if first thing I want to do in morning is kiss you without waiting for you brush your teeth.