Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
666
667
668
669
670
671
672
673
6382
Next»
Page: 670 of 6382
If someone works with a bunch of a$$holes all day. Can they add proctologist to their resume?
10
2
←Rate |
08-15-2018 20:10 by
Haha
Comments (
0
)
It may be time to start exercising . Halfway up this flight of stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying for the summit tomorrow.
16
2
←Rate |
08-15-2018 12:45
Comments (
0
)
Auto Repair Price List Ping-Ping-Ping 35.00 Plunk-Ping-Plunk 50.00 Klunk-Ping-Klunk 125.00 Thud-Klunk-Thud 200.00 Clank-Thud-Clank 325.00
10
2
←Rate |
08-15-2018 11:29
Comments (
0
)
My Stress Doctor said I need to find a purpose but I can't get my wife to drive me to the aquarium..
5
6
←Rate |
08-15-2018 11:17 by
Gerry
Comments (
0
)
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember ... *thinking ?!? " Not Twain.
4
7
←Rate |
08-15-2018 07:11
Comments (
0
)
If you want me to go running with you I will need some motivation. Like a clown waving a bloody knife chasing after us.
10
4
←Rate |
08-15-2018 07:08
Comments (
0
)
"Good people don't go into goverment." D.J.T.
11
12
←Rate |
08-15-2018 05:36
Comments (
2
)
You know that your wife's cooking is bad when dessert is Tum's chewables.
5
9
←Rate |
08-15-2018 02:10 by
Jake
Comments (
0
)
It's not the constant thought or fear of death that keeps me awake at night. It's usually grandma's Jalapeno flavored meatloaf!
10
4
←Rate |
08-14-2018 06:33
Comments (
0
)
If meterorologist are people who studies the weather. Are people who study meteors weatherologist?
6
5
←Rate |
08-13-2018 21:49 by
Haha
Comments (
0
)
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We'll both regret it soon enough.
21
3
←Rate |
08-13-2018 13:20 by
Reuben
Comments (
0
)
Her: How deep is your love? Me: 8 inches. 3 if you actually have a ruler with you.
8
6
←Rate |
08-13-2018 13:03
Comments (
0
)
Ego and Super-ego walk into a bar. Bartender says "Sorry, Guys, I'm gonna need to see some ID."
12
6
←Rate |
08-13-2018 06:59
Comments (
0
)
Where do I sign up for the Space Force? I've heard "not if you were the last guy on Earth" so space is still hopeful
10
7
←Rate |
08-12-2018 23:31 by
Eddy
Comments (
0
)
I'm not immauture....... I just know how to have fun.
4
2
←Rate |
08-12-2018 20:31 by
Haha
Comments (
0
)
I find you're total lack of ambition is inspiring.
6
4
←Rate |
08-12-2018 01:30 by
Jake
Comments (
0
)
Take the hint people...... Earbuds are a do not disturb sign.
10
3
←Rate |
08-11-2018 23:30 by
Haha
Comments (
0
)
A man injured his hand at work. The doctor said sorry but we need to amputate one of your fingers. Man ask the hole finger? Doctor said no, the one next to it.
5
11
←Rate |
08-11-2018 20:53 by
Jake
Comments (
0
)
when 1 of my lenses fall out, I like to think of the glasses as half full
4
8
←Rate |
08-11-2018 19:46 by
Eddy
Comments (
0
)
Does anyone know if there is an age limit to join the U.S Space Force? I think I would look good with a helmet on!
4
18
←Rate |
08-11-2018 13:59
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
666
667
668
669
670
671
672
673
6382
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com