life Funny Status Messages

   Your soulmate is out there. Crying in their car, listening to 90s rap while you waste your life with people you don't even like.

   Friends who buy you food are friends for life.!!

   I don't have an entitlement problem. I have a problem with not getting everything I want out of life.

   If you're a man and in a relationship with a woman, life can get very confusing approximately every 28 days.

   You got to live life on both sides of the coin, you never know which side its going to land on

   I wonder how many times in the past I was wrong before she entered my life and started keeping track?

   If your life involves less drinking and cursing, it's gonna involve less of me.

   What came first? The alcohol or the bad life decision?

   The best things in life make no sense.

   Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life. Where I'm going, if I'll fall in love, what I want in life... Then I pull up my pants and flush the toilet.

   So sick of hearing about Paula dean and gay rights and blah blah.. Let everyone live their life and be happy

   Life is like a box of chocolates, why is this box of chocolates yelling at me?

   Attention nobodys...I'm not going to "follow" you on fb....unless you're Marilyn Monroe brought back to life.

   A man is incomplete until a woman comes in his life. After that.he is finished!

   I want to pause for a moment to remember all my friends that gave a life in Candy Crush Saga. Your sacrifice has not gone unnoticed

   If you love something let it go, and if its doing better than you, try and ruin its life.

   I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life..

   Seems most people live life to the foolest...

   My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.

   My Dad said if I get 1000 likes, my dog will come back to life!