Funny Status Messages

   you don't have to be the most handsome guy neither the richest to pick up girls....just be able to lick your eyebrow

   thinks she is FIT! And yes, she is definitely unpretentious!

   has developed his own H1N1 Vaccine consisting of: NyQuil, Tylenol-3, Vodka, Rohypnol, Benadryl, OxyContin, Spiced Rum and a hint of Lemon. ---Directions: Drink One Full Glass every hour to Remove all Care and Worry about the H1N1 virus.....

   just taken a hit to the 'nads.... Man down!!

   jones'ing for a Shamrock shake....

   the Real reason Hamid Karzai got handed his second term. That's right... I did it. :P

   A lot of good conversations are ruined by some idiot that actually knows what he's talking about.

   Thinking ████████████ 99%

   dont drink n park..accidents cause people!!!

   Fighting off bunnies trying to steal my lucky charms

   ready for No Shave November 2009. Join the Facebook Group!

   defying gravity, NOTHING can bring him down

   Don't ask me to tell you my status, FACEBOOK, you're not my therapist!

   knowledge is knowing that pepper is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in fruit salad

   seeking a meaningful overnight relationship

   If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room

   there are two rules to getting rich. 1) Don't tell all you know

   there may not be an "I" in team but there's an "M" and "E"

   n't it amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're leaving?

   Have no fear of perfection–you'll never reach it.