santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   It would be really convenient if Christmas decorations grew on trees.

   All I want for Xmas is........... Red Solo Cup! I fill you up! Lets have a party!!!

   I don't deliver to Trailer Parks. If your house is on wheels, you must have done something wrong. - SANTA CLAUS

   Why I love winter: 1. Christmas morning with my kids 2. Snow 3. My wife keeps her clothes on during sex. 4. Liquor in my car stays cold

   Good girls get presents, Naughty girls get money. - by Order of SANTA CLAUS.

   Well, obviously we have a Santa in the North Pole. He's climbin' down yo chimney, droppin' yo' presents off Bringin' cheer so ya'll need to hang the stockings, deck the halls, and leave some cookies cuz he's visiting errrybody out there.

   If you leave out Weight Watchers cookies I will burn your house down. - SANTA

   Here comes the 2010 Christmas post all over again ...

   midgets who are actors and actresses must love the Xmas season. every movie or commercial that remotely deals with Santa has at least 2000 of em'

   Dear parents: Oh really? I'm a liar? What about the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus? Sincerely, your child.

   Hah! Got my inflatable Santa Jesus up before you this year, Henderson. SUCK IT, CHRISTMAS LOSER!!!

   Pro-tip: Turn your dishwasher into a snowplow this christmas by giving her a shovel.

   Even though it looks as though JB cheated on me & may be someone's baby daddy, I'm still going to wear his scent and listen to his new Christmas album...while rocking myself back and forth in the corner of a vacant room w/ nothing but a bottle of Grey G

   If you're genuinely surprised about Kim Kardashian getting divorced, I need to tell you something about Santa Claus...

   I think the smartest, most original thing a person can talk about is how early the Christmas decorations are up this year.

   "You see your family whole year, holidays are for your bartender !!" - Moe Syzlak

   Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween and handed out candy.....

   I'll be spending most of today putting Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations...

   It looks like my town's Home Depot is dressing up as Christmas for Halloween ,,,,,,, Really?

   Why are Halloween costumes so skanky??? Sorry Christmas, "ho ho ho" is now a more appropriate greeting for Halloween...